biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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