her vagine was all disorganized.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
