my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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