Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
