i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
