do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
