happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
