just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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