hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
