I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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