they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
