I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
