I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
