U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
