I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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