i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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