He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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