i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
