Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
