My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
