just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
