Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
