But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
