Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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