how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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