Your tits are I can't wait for
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
