i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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