am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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