I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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