omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
