Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
