he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
