I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
