So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
