Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
