Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
