I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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