If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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