a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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