if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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