we have pet lesbian snakes
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
