my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
