it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
