i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
