They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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