Whoa Z and x make the same sound
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
