I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
