Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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