its not stalking. its research.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
