somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
